By Jun P. Espina | Last updated on June 13th, 2021 at 10:36 am
There are four types of love: 1) Philia or close friendship or brotherly love (Rom. 12:10); 2) Agape or selfless, sacrificial, unconditional love (e.g. Christ’s love – John 14:21); 3) Eros (erotic) or physical and sensual love, e.g., between husband and wife (1 Cor. 7:8-9; 4) and Storge or family love (Ex. 20:12). Understanding erotic love is a key relationship builder. In this article, I want to explore on erotic or eros love.
Understanding Erotic (Eros) Love is the Key
Love of the opposite sex is very unstable among our youth. Why because of the idealism of the young for perfection, fame, money and good looks. Hence, a long engagement is essential before marriage. The lovers need to clear up first the cobwebs of youthful dreams for a life partner. For proof that it is so, one study shows that a year or so relationship before marriage is much better compared to a rush union.
Key Actors in Marriage
Men are the key actors in marriage. Normally, we are the one’s courting, proposing, marrying. But most of us are easily captured by the impressiveness of beauty or money or fame. A married man, Mark Antony had a love affair with Cleopatra; Rody Duterte, to four women; and the fat Jewish woman, Monica Lewinski, devastated the peace and moral integrity of Bill Clinton. For beauty, few men don’t care they were the twentieth man of their beloved wife.
But then beauty dies with age, and money and fame are very uncertain. That’s one significant problem with eros love, for it is usually anchored on conditions that are ever changing. A lifespan of the love relationship between young people is sometimes gauged by the lovers’ reason for loving and keeping the nearness.
Erotic Love to Prevent Breakup
How to prevent a love relationship among our young from breaking up?
Well, it’s good for a relationship to end if it is not meant to stay forever. Let love turn into cold hatred before marriage. Let it die, for its demise is better off than the calamity it will shoulder should it be allowed to survive.
But if one’s love is meant to be worthy of survival and growth as an oak tree, then, by all means, do something to mold and grow it. Your future family—even your community and the country—needs such love. We need true eros love. Our nation depends on it since the society is always dependent on the health of the relationship in the family.
What do we need to prevent an eros love from breaking up? Well, the understanding of eros love always depends on the sense of maturity of the lovers concerned. The legal requirement known as parental consent was invented, for we are all aware, based on a survey that of five marriages of couples below age 20 only one will survive from separation.
Our young are sometimes very irrational about their so-called love only to find it to be the primary cause of their lifelong agony. We, parents, need to pray for and give wise counsel to our young.
Eros love shouldn’t be dominated by the power of pure feelings without any semblance of sanity in its totality. Remove the conditions of blind love, namely, fame, money, good looks, etc. for it to start to see its blindness and its purely physical and sexual nature.
Erotic Love Based on the Christian Perspective
From the point of Bible-believing and Christ-worshiping Christians, they want their child to get married to a Christian spouse. Secondly, they want to be around to give counsel.
The Bible verses that support this belief are many. In sum, the apostle Paul said that Christ follower should marry only a fellow believer. (cf. 2 Cor. 6:14) Secondly, parents, particularly the mothers, are required to teach their daughters to “love” their husbands. (cf. Tit. 2:4) Thirdly, the bed of marriage is holy. (Heb. 13:4) Real Christians consider the faithfulness of the couple to be unbroken.
Christians are not perfect. The just have a guide, the Holy Bible and the Spirit of Christ. Hence, their difference somehow—though not perfect!
Erotic Love for the Newly Married Couple
What about the eros love of newly married couple?
Well, sex is vital to the health of any marital relationship. Second is having children; third, compatibility; and fourth is money. We know that unfaithfulness is the number one culprit in any form of divorce; hence, let’s be honest and faithful. My philosophy, which I borrowed from Mary Kay, is “God first, family second, and career third.”