Written: December 3, 2012 | Updated on January 30th, 2020 | Jun P. Espina | 2 min read
Serious Lover, Who is He?
No single mom ever knew whether her boyfriend was serious or not until she became pregnant and abandoned. Pregnancy outside marriage is becoming a progression in the Philippines today. Fatherless babies are spreading, thanks to the cultural tolerance on single parenthood. The single-mom circumstance, now adapted as a new normal, seems to invade the erstwhile conservative and reverential treatment of the Filipinos for the institution of marriage and the family.
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I have the privilege of interviewing many single moms, and I noticed that ages 23-26 is the standard age bracket where one becomes a mother but not a wife. A confident single mom asked me this question: “How to determine a serious lover?” At first, I pretended I was kind of expert on the subject. In reality, I didn’t know how to answer her.
Grappling for words, I said, “Well, sex is man’s greatest interest in a woman, loving or even marrying her is just second.”
“If that’s the case,” she replied, “then it is tough to determine if my boyfriend, the father of my child is serious about our relationship.” “That’s why,” I added, “an extended engagement period (at least a year) is encouraged rather than engaging a sexual relationship with a man who’s but a stranger to you.”
Serious About Sexual Relationship Only?
I tried to explain to her that sex is supposed to be sacred, and marriage holy for they are God’s. But, it seemed she wasn’t interested in my thoughts, for she was bent to have her boyfriend marry her.
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I believe that the single-mom phenomenon will continue to invade the marriage-first-before-pregnancy culture because society as a whole is quite permissive about it. I think we, parents, have to help our daughters to bear a godly perspective about life, marriage, and family.