Jun P. Espina 4 min read
Updated on November 22nd, 2022
Mother Teresa once said that “I have found the paradox, that if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more love,” while Erich Fromm taught that “Immature love says: ‘I love you because I need you.’ Mature love says ‘I need you because I love you.’” Between men and lovely women, however, a love requiring reciprocal affection is more natural and human. I don’t think the marriage will last without such chemistry at home.
I find from the above quotes that love is an affection that requires no equal affection from the one loved. Or that love grows even if we do not reciprocate such a feeling. The life of Mother Teresa is one example, as she was bent on serving the people in the name of her god. But what about the meaning of love for the opposite sex?
Between men and lovely women, however, a love requiring reciprocal affection is more natural and human. I don’t think the marriage will last without such chemistry at home.
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A Love that is Reciprocated Lives
I think your love for your wife gets stronger by the day because she is reciprocating your affection. Without such blending at home, I don’t think your marriage will last. Sometimes the wife does not love her husband. But if she would continue, in all honesty, to respect and serve him faithfully, I don’t think it would be much of a problem. As God said, man, love your wife and die for her; whereas, woman, submit yourself (no mention of the command to love!) to your husband just as Sarah called Abraham “lord.” (cf. Eph. 5; 1 Pet. 3:6)
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Love Dies Without a Mutual Emotional Bond
There is always an immense problem in the family if the wife doesn’t SUBMIT herself to her own husband. Most of the time, the man gets the greater blame if the marriage breaks up for being cold, irresponsible, or disrespectful to his wife and children. There are instances, however, where the husband’s affection for his wife dries up because of unfaithfulness or some attitude problems with the latter.
Incompatibility is the word we use to describe a relationship that’s characterized by constant friction and a lack of unity in direction and purpose. However, for the sake of the children, the spouses must redirect their mismatched union. If you think incompatibility goes to ruin, try divorce!
Read Also: Happy Family Demands Common Faith in God, Not Just Love
A Love that is Reciprocated Understands the Loved
I wrote somewhere that a man needs to understand that what a woman says is not always what she wants. A young man may stop loving the woman who didn’t care for all his text messages. This attitude is a complete misunderstanding of the fact that all women, including the most unattractive of them all, require a process called courtship. In some backward cultures, the man is expected to give his cow or money to the girl’s parents. In today’s mobile- and internet-controlled love environment, women want to feel they are a beautiful and precious pearl inside an oyster. The rule is to break that oyster shell or get no pearl!
Most young men who’ve understood this feminine weakness have won the love of the most attractive ones. They knew that most women have a naïve attitude toward love-related decisions. That is why even the old and ugly can have a chance with the lovely and young girl. One study shows that women are experts at spur-of-the-moment decisions.
Perhaps it is nature’s way of equipping women with the ability to decide what to cook for breakfast. Appreciate a woman, then show what you feel, and then court her—that’s the recipe! Wait, never turn your back on her until you completely cannot win her love. How do you know she won’t change her mind after an hour?
Have you heard about a certain celebrity marriage that lasted for only six hours since the wife changed her mind and decided not to sleep with her husband after the wedding? In our country, typhoons (except the stronger ones!) are given feminine names, given their ever-changing directions. Understand her first if you want to win her love.
Young Love Requiring No Parental Advice May Need Some After All
Have you noticed that most of the top earners in the world of marketing are women? The best direct sellers and insurance underwriters are female. It is my humble observation that women are natural marketers. Every time they wear lipstick or their sexy shorts, they are “marketing.” Please don’t get me wrong; it is true. Most of the time, women’s love is tied to their marketing agenda. “If you love me, show me if you’ve got something for me.” The “better man” always takes the most beautiful in the crowd. No wonder a woman’s heart is sometimes easily manipulable by individual playboy ethics.
I have a young daughter, and I know that she, like all other young girls, needs sound parental advice. God said, “Train up a child in the way he should go, Even when he is old he will not depart from it.” (Proverbs 22:6 NASB). Love is a feeling, and feelings are very deceptive.
“The heart is more deceitful than all else And is desperately sick; Who can understand it?” Jeremiah 17:9.
Hence, as responsible parents, it is always a good and Christian practice to watch over our children. Throughout my marriage, I have been watching and lovingly caring for all of my children. They are new to this world, and this life is full of trickery.
C. S. Lewis once said that in the world of true Christianity, too much freedom is advantageous to the devil. Leaving our young unguarded in the name of liberty is tantamount to putting them in the mouth of hell. Christ once said that the devil is “god of this world.” Watch our children like a hen watching her chicks, or they will become pregnant without a husband after only a few months of parental neglect.
Leaving our young unguarded in the name of liberty is tantamount to putting them in the mouth of hell.
